Kategoria angielskich dowcip闚: Puns

 

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Shellfish Crab ->

Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach. The girl lobster suggested that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone. Having purchased two cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time... [ca造 ->]

The Foo Bird ->

A man went to Africa to do some game hunting. While there, he hired a young native to accompany him as his guide. Soon, a large flock of birds flew overhead and the hunter took aim. The guide grabbed his arm and said "Oh,no! These are foo birds... [ca造 ->]

The perfect woman! ->

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket toward... [ca造 ->]

The talking peanut ->

This guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he sits drinking, he notices a peanut jump out of the dish before him. The peanut proceeds to talk, 'hey there buddy,' it hollers, 'you're looking mighty fine tonight!' The guy can't believe what he i... [ca造 ->]

The Wizard of Oz ->

At the edge of the forest there was a somewhat mediocre wizard. He is there to help the animals of the forest with some of their daily problems. One day a toad hops in. The toad says "Oh wizard, please help me. I was born with a yellow penis." ... [ca造 ->]

Thor the God of Love ->

THOR, the God of Love wakes up the morning after the orgy. As he sits up, stretches and looks around, he sees a beautiful, shapely, young blonde standing in the doorway. He walks over and says - "Good morning, I'm THOR"! She looks back at hi... [ca造 ->]

Timbucktoo ->

It seems that two of the great Romantic British Poets, Shelly and Keats died on the same day. When they got to heaven St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I only have room for one poet. I'll tell you what I'll do. Each of you must make up a poem using ... [ca造 ->]

Tree Talk ->

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker la... [ca造 ->]

Truck Driver Snow ->

The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts. "Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. "It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?" "I'm June, June Hansen," ... [ca造 ->]

What's In a Name? ->

An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing. The director asked the young man his name. "Penis van Lesbian,"... [ca造 ->]